A Mysterious Hole

During the night. When everyone had gone to bed but before the early risers had got up to deliver the milk or walk the Dog a hole appeared. That isn't what alarmed the people of the small-to-medium sized town. What alarmed the townspeople was the fact that it was in the middle of the road.
Another alarming feature of the hole was that nobody knew where it came from and to add to an all round confusion amongst the fretting masses who had assembled around the hole, mostly to look in it and see what it did next, it didn't do anything. It just was there.
No one seemed to be admitting responsibility for the hole being there. No one it seems dug it and that led to further questions like.
Why was it built?
What's the reason for this damned hole?
Where does it go to?
Where has it come from?
What does it want? and.
Should I have a packet of Cheese & Onion crisps or Smokey Bacon?
Some of the townsfolk having a low attention span and were prone to drift off if they weren't prodded to remain in full awareness of the facts or any new developments.
These questions taxed the townsfolk for sometime, or at least until something new came up that they could be taxed and opinionated about, and they felt that because a hole had appeared, seemingly from out of the blue, someone, somewhere must be to blame. Or at least accountable.
The townsfolk began clammering for expert analysis of the hole. They wanted to know what should be done, or even if they had to keep the hole. Are there rules regarding mysterious holes? Especially ones that didn't seem to have an owner. A sort of freehold hole.
The town council called an emeregency meeting to discuss the important features of the hole and what should be done. The press eventually arrived because everyone knows that the press are often a help in these matters. The press came and looked at the hole, and indeed in it. They took photographs of the hole and went off to interview some local folks about there feelings in regards to the hole. Because the press like a vox-pop so much that some media analyists have began speculating that they like general opinion rather than actual news.
Mrs. Gordon-Brown said "It's a disgrace, someone needs to do something about this hole."
Mr. Smithies, the local butcher, said. "It's not me I'm angry for but the kids. They shouldn't have to see this kind of things. They could fall in."
Jim the loafer said, "What hole?" He'd spent most of the time shuffling between bed, the kettle and a multi-pack of Cheesy Wotsits and a general malaise had left him in the dark on the whole subject of the hole.
Experts were called. There were visits from the M.O.D., The Fraud Squad, A QUANGO, The lifeboat people, The fire brigade, the bomb squad, some Ghostbusters, A representative from English heritage and The Surveyor General's 3rd assistant Surveyor General. A navy helicopter was scrambled should it be required at short notice.
None of them were able to shed a huge amount light on the hole except with a torch but all that did was make the hole brighter and make people remember that the hole was there and what a problem it was causing.
A man with a flat bed lorry, a cement mixer and a woolly hat turned up claiming to be a builder and offered to fill the hole for a very reasonable rate, all quotes are free. But the town's planning officer couldn't decide whether it would be necessary for planning permission to be sought to fill the hole and seeings as no one had yet claimed ownership of the hole and therefore hadn't submitted a legally required request to fill in or even do anything with the hole, couldn't allow the hole to be filled.
"I'm bound by red tape." he told the press. He eventually gave up thinking about the hole and went on a walking holiday in the Itallian Alps.
And indeed all that red tape could offer in relation to the hole was a half dozen traffic cones and one of those funny little miniture tents that road gangs use.
The tent was mostly redundant because the towns highway department refused to take ownership of the hole. The building department wouldn't take it either and still no private concerns had arisen to take the hole up and turn it back into the stretch of road that it had been before it was a hole.
A far better time everyone thought.